In This Garden, We Grow
by TheRoseShadow21
Summary: Now, they remember. Mera, Cinn, and Koji remember everything and now understand all too well what Han did for them. But where do they go from here? A fanfic based on Rosetum's entries into LSO2019. Rated M to be safe, very long epilogue style oneshot with a bonus scene.
1. Epilogue

**As the summary indicates, this fic is basically a sort of epilogue to the entries the group Rosetum made for the chorus battle Lyrica System Zero 2019. I was initially inspired by their R3 entry of Mukanjyo but have since watched and enjoyed the others-the singing, the art, the stories, everything I liked. And clearly, the story really got me, because I found myself wondering: what would happen next? how would they be able to live, after that? So, gradually, this was born. **

**If you are a member of Rosetum and you decide to read this I hope that it lives up to the amazingness of your entries. And to all readers, I really, really hope you enjoy this, and if you can, please leave feedback!**

* * *

The moment seemed to last a lifetime.

In the space around them all, the only sounds that Azalea could hear were those of the others, breathing heavily, frozen in place at the scene in front of them. That, and her own sobbing, which she was trying desperately to rein in. To all appearances, after all, this was victory. At long last, Sanguis had gotten revenge on a traitorous former member, effectively crumbling the new alliances he had created. With a few well-placed strikes, Eros could be completely vanquished, leaving Sanguis as the sole leader once more.

But she was kneeling there, sobbing, because nothing about what had happened was what she thought it was, and now she was holding a dead Han in her arms, remembering everything far too late. Including a time, so long ago it was in another life, when she had been the one to be held while she was dying. All she could do was remember how it had hurt. It had _hurt_. But until now, she hadn't remembered.

_But Han did, didn't he? That's why…._the realisation made her want to break out into a fresh wave of tears. But the lessons of her life had been strong ones, and so she took in sharp, ragged breaths, forcing the tears back, wiping her nose and straightening, still holding onto Han. Either side of her, she sensed Enrian and Cabbar come to her, supporting Han's weight. She looked at them, giving the subtlest of nods. _At least_, she thought, _I still have them here_. Azalea didn't know what she would have done, if they had been gone too. Enrian and Cabbar and Han, they were all the other pieces of her heart. _And they always have been. Always. Oh, Han…_

"Thank you."

Han couldn't hear her, but of course, it didn't matter. She allowed herself to show that one weakness, to whisper those words to him, and then she stared straight at the others. Raeon, Nate, Reitarou, Woyoo. Raeon's usual sneer was half-frozen, seeming colder, while Nate and Reitarou had tensed, hands on their weapons and ready to go. Woyoo, however, seemed thoughtful, studying them carefully from underneath his smart hat.

"It's over." She told them, voice ringing out. "Your leader is dead, your time is over."

"What about Han?" Nate asked, gruffly.

"He's ours, can't you see that?" Cabbar asked, just as gruff, stepping forward menacingly.

"Yours?" Nate demanded. "What do you mean, yours?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like. He's ours. He was never yours. Never."

"Cabbar, they don't have those memories." Enrian said, softly.

Both Azalea and Cabbar looked over at Enrian, whose reddish brown eyes were still wet as well. He looked over at them, and they shared a look, heavy with the load of the memories they now had. She had a sudden long-ago flash of him ruffling her hair for one reason or another, the smile that had accompanied it. This life they were in now was not much of a hair-ruffling one, but even so, that smile was a part of him here, too. Of course, it wasn't here now as he looked at them, and back over.

"It was always just us, living and dying all over again. And always Han…left behind."

"We were there."

Azalea almost jumped at the words, and the small footsteps that followed as Hanako stepped forward. She'd almost forgotten that their quiet fourth main member of Sanguis had been there. The diminutive green-ette stopped almost in front of Woyoo, who now turned his intense gaze onto her.

"It was only that one time, when they were looking for Rosetum. But you remember, don't you, Bucky?"

"B-Bucky?" Cabbar asked, automatically. Azalea could hear the confused amusement in his voice despite everything.

"I remember." Woyoo said, unexpectedly.

"What the fuck does that any of that shit matter?" Raeon spluttered. "It was ages ago. We're not those people!"

"Then if that's the case, you won't care if we take Han." Azalea spoke up again. "Indeed, we're not going to give you a choice about it. You can go now, or we'll force you to go. But you've already lost this, you may as well give up."

Her grip on Han tightened, and they stared each other down for the longest time.

"Woyoo?" Nate asked, uncertainly, letting his hand with the gun in fall back to his side.

"Why are we asking Woyoo?" Reitarou asked, pulling down his mask, fully revealing his confused expression.

"He's our acting leader, remember?" Raeon said.

"Yes, because that was a really smart thing to tell them." Nate snarked, glaring.

"Take them."

"Woyoo, what the fuck?"

"Why are we letting them take him, like he's their battle spoils or something? He's our leader, we should be the ones to prepare him for promession. " Reitarou protested.

Woyoo did not initially respond. Cabbar let go of Han, and crouched into a battle-ready pose. Azalea was not yet ready to let go, but in her mind, she prepared herself for another fight. But eventually, Woyoo sighed, and shook his head.

"We're already leaderless. I'd rather we didn't lose anyone else."

"And you _will _lose, if you come anywhere near us." Enrian threatened.

There were grumbles and protests from the rest of Eros, but undeterred, Woyoo walked away-though not before giving a subtle nod to Hanako. Eventually, the others followed, exiting the warehouse and leaving them all alone.

The moment they were gone, Azalea dropped to her knees.

"Azalea!"

Cabbar and Enrian gathered back around her, putting their arms around her. For a long time, they stayed like that. She didn't cry again-none of them did. But they sat there, all the same, letting the weight settle. She looked down at Han's face, brushed locks of his sandy hair away from his forehead, leaned forward to kiss it, trying not to think of the kiss he had given her but replaying it in her head all the same. But then she sighed, and looked at the two she did at least have left, and nodded at them.

"Let's go home."

**…**

"Burial?" Enrian said, curiously. "That's an odd choice."

The three of them were gathered in Azalea's bedroom, around the body preservation chamber she had set up to keep Han until the day they were ready to have a ceremony for him. It wasn't going to happen in the foreseeable future, not with tensions running high. Cabbar and Nate had already had a run-in, and the fact that Cabbar had come out the better had not helped. The underground world was simmering with the tensions, not sure where they stood in a world where one gang wanted to keep the body of a rival member, as opposed to leaving it in their bloody wake. Enrian didn't blame them, really.

"Odd?" Azalea tilted her head. "We, no doubt, would have been buried, or cremated before. I wonder if Han would have been the one to have had to done that, for us. I want to give that to Han."

"But nobody buries, anymore. There's nowhere _to_ bury."

"Sure there is," Azalea said. "There's woods and gardens and things, out beyond the city."

She gestured wildly out beyond the window. Enrian followed where she was pointing, looking out at the sleek metal and glass buildings, all the glowing lights. It was hard to imagine any kind of nature out there. But of course there was. Their fruits and vegetables and herbs were all real ones (an indulgence they were well placed to enjoy) as opposed to the lab-grown most ate. Wood was still used for furniture, flowers were still given as a token of romance or reconciliation. But even so, the life they lived was a one far removed from the ones they'd lived before, where things like burial were common.

"We can find somewhere, can't we?" Azalea asked.

"I mean, we could, but-"

_Burial?_ Actually keeping his body intact, and placing it in a coffin to be put deep below the earth, topped by a headstone? It was a thing out of a period story or a movie, not something people _did _anymore.

"Don't you want him to rest somewhere?" Azalea sounded more desperate now, as she sat up. "Don't you want a place to be able to visit him?"

"Is that what you want?" Enrian asked, studying her closely.

Azalea nodded, her pretty blue eyes wide, making her look so terribly young, even though they were all 25 (much older than they'd ever been in any of their other lives-the oldest Enrian remembered was 20. Literally, he had just turned 20 when he and the others-siblings in this particular life- had been caught in a terror attack while on holiday). She wrapped her arms around herself in that way she'd developed over the days since she had killed Han. As if she did not trust her skin and bones to be enough to keep her standing, as if she needed to physically hold herself together to stay intact.

"Oh, go on, let her," Cabbar said, yawning. "It's kinda romantic, isn't it, the idea of burial? And she loved him, before all this. Didn't you, Az?"

This was somewhat of an understatement on Cabbar's part, Enrian thought, but did not say. Azalea, for her part, though, glared at Cabbar almost threateningly.

"What's that meant to mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what's that meant to mean'?" Cabbar responded, bewildered. "I'm just saying that like of course it's more important to you, because you guys were lovers before he did his so-called betrayal, and I'm pretty sure in all the other lives you were either the same or you had those feelings. But me and Cinn, it's not the same."

"How can you say that?"

Too jolted by Cabbar casually using his old name, it took Enrian a moment to react to Azalea viciously launching across to tackle Cabbar, knocking him to the floor. If he'd had a shirt collar or even a t-shirt to grab fistfuls of, Azalea would have done, but as he had a perpetual habit of remaining shirtless, she resorted to digging her nails into his shoulders. Cabbar winced.

"Ouch, what the fuck?"

"This is _Han_. " Azalea screamed in his face, crying. "I know it's not love in the same way, but how can you say it wasn't love at all?"

"Woah, Azalea-" Enrian started, but her rant wasn't over. Far from it.

"How can you act as if he meant nothing to you? You're the one crying yourself to sleep every night, aren't you?"

"Hey, what the hell, Mera?" Cabbar managed to get himself sitting up again, even as Azalea kept trying to attack him. "Don't throw that back in my face!"

"I'm not! But it wasn't just Han and me who've been separated over and over, is it? It was me, and you, and him too-"Azalea took a breath to gesture over at Enrian. "It was about us, as a group? We love each other too. Not like that. But we do, right?"

"I…I guess?"

Cabbar sounded more than slightly baffled, and Enrian couldn't blame him entirely for this. Even under the circumstances, straightforwardly admitting that they loved each other felt strange, and he was blushing a little.

"Just because I was the one sleeping with him before doesn't make me more special. He was trying to save all of us, not just me. I was never a Juliet to his Romeo or a Hermia to his Lysander or whatever." She concluded, eventually, tearfully. "So stop saying things like that."

The fight sagged out of her, and Azalea covered her face with her hands. Cabbar looked down at his chest, at the light marks left behind by Azalea's nails, then back at her.

"I'm not gonna lie, I think you bent my brain a little, but I didn't mean to make it sound like I didn't care about Han at all, for what it's worth. So, yeah."

Azalea looked up again, and though she didn't say anything, she nodded. For a moment, they just sat there. Even though Enrian had not participated in this conflict, he felt spent. Wearily, he rubbed his head, and then looked over at Han's body preservation chamber. It was shaped a little like one of those old-fashioned coffins, now he was thinking about it. Not that it mattered, but then again, it didn't matter if burial was archaic. Now, nothing else would be fitting.

"We can bury him, then…Mera."

Enrian placed more emphasis on her old name, intending her to notice the usage. A beat or two passed, as Azalea stared at him, clearly not expecting this. Then she shook her head.

"Don't call me that."

"Then what do we call you? I dunno about you, but I don't really feel like I am Cabbar anymore." Cabbar said with a sigh, looking up at the ceiling. "It doesn't feel right."

Azalea shrugged at this.

"New names."

Azalea and Cabbar (well, Mera and Koji, really) looked at Enrian in surprise. He blushed slightly, and shrugged.

"New names. We can start afresh with new names. Leave all this behind, go somewhere far away. We can bury Han somewhere we can visit him, like you want, and then do something different."

"Like what?" Koji/Cabbar wanted to know.

"We can figure it out when we get there." Cinn/Enrian replied. "Right?"

Koji/Cabbar broke out into a big grin-clearly, ad-libbing the plan sounded right up his street. Mera/Azalea looked uncertainly from one to the other, and then she nodded.

And like that, it was decided.

**…**

And so, Cinn became Lysander, while Mera became Aisa. Koji, despite liking the idea of choosing a new name, was completely stumped, and eventually Lysander chose 'Juniper' for him. Something about the tree symbolising journeys or something clever like that, the type of thing that Lysander _would_ come up with (he always had been a bit of a clever-clogs). Still, Juniper shortened nicely to Jun, and he liked it well enough.

They spent weeks setting the stage for their disappearance. Though it was Lysander who always had the best instinct for finding places, it was Aisa who chose the abandoned cottage at the top of a small former river bank, near woods in the South District. Juniper mostly just made snarky editorial comments, though of course, he was cool with whatever.

Hanako, that funny little thing, in the midsts of her squirreling out more information about their previous lives from the other members of Eros, helped to spread the rumours that Sanguis was breaking down despite what should really have been a victory. Her rekindled friendship with Woyoo (or Bucky, as she called him) helped both with this and to perpetuate the rumour that Hanako, too, was betraying them, seduced by the new leader of Eros. Threats were flung from both ends, though more than once it almost got too real with Raeon, who still thought their past memories insignificant, and with Nate, who was mistrusting of it all.

They moved their money from one set of accounts into another, got rid of anything they would not need to take with them, built new IDs with their new names. Lysander removed his many tattoos, though some of them scarred and he needed bandages for a while. He tried to get Jun to remove them too, but he liked his tattoos, so he just got more, obscuring the pattern of the old ones. As for Aisa, she cut her hair, curled it slightly, did something funky with it so it framed her face differently, and though it was a particularly low-tech way of doing things, it still made her seem completely different.

Then, one summer's night, when it was completely dark, they left their base for the last time. Aisa, naturally, led the way. They kept to isolated places as much as possible, so that people would not spot them-though sometimes, knowing full well the power of rumour, sometimes they did. They didn't look for fights, but sometimes fights came looking for them and with the lives they'd led this time around, they could not let that pass. And, of course, there were all the complications of travelling with a preserved corpse. They were well experienced in evading the law, but it was everyone else that was the problem. Still, they managed, gradually making it into the South District, where the trees were starting to change the colours of their leaves, though for now they still insisted on holding onto them.

"This is it." Aisa said, excitement in her voice as they emerged through the last of the trees, and into a clearing where the cottage lay, her coat (once Han's) streaming out behind her like a cloak. Jun eyeballed the place as he and Lysander followed behind. For something that'd been abandoned for a few centuries, it didn't seem to be falling apart terribly or anything. Which was good, because he was about ready for a drink and a nap.

"Oh god, finally." Jun groaned. "Can we go inside?"

"We can put our stuff away, but we have something more important to do first."

Aisa gestured to the chamber they'd been dragging around, battered from various run-ins but still holding Han safely (somehow, miraculously). Jun groaned.

"It can't wait until morning?"

"It _is_ morning." Aisa pointed out sardonically.

She gestured to the sky above them, which was starting to lighten.

"Come on," Lysander encouraged. "We can have a drink later."

Jun sighed, then his hand went to the small packet in his pocket, that he'd picked up without any of them noticing. _At least then I can get this started for him, _he thought, _it's the least I can do._

"Fine then," he said, with a heavy sigh just to make it clear that he felt very put upon. "Let's do it."

Aisa balanced the shovels they had bought at a small, out of the way store (and where Juniper had stolen the packet) on top of Han's chamber, and proceeded to drag it down into the garden below. Without saying anything, Lysander and Jun began to put everything inside, mostly dumping it in the nearest room, ready to sort later. Lysander pulled out some gloves and the shroud they'd bought to bury Han in from one of the bags, and Jun rootled around until he found a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water, and three glasses. Lysander raised an eyebrow, but still didn't say anything as they took these things, and went down to join Aisa, who had already started digging. The silence continued as the two men went to join her, and they made the whole big enough. Then, there was the tricky part.

Aisa went over, and put in the combination to unlock the chamber. When the lid opened though, she did not reach in. Instead, she remained kneeling, her hair falling over her face and obscuring her expression as she looked there for a moment. Jun and Lysander stood there, side by side, watching, until something wistful stole across Lysander's face, and he decisively walked over and crouched, putting a hand on Aisa's shoulder. She looked up at him, and then the two of them worked together to lift Han's body up. Jun rushed over to help, trying hard to not look too hard at the body of his dead friend, still with the same peaceful expression that he'd worn at the moment of his death. Peaceful, despite everything that had must have been going on in his head. Jun couldn't understand it, and both admired and resented Han for it. He knew that if it had been him, he would never, ever have been able to follow through on the plan Han had followed through in order to save them.

_But not because I didn't love you all any less. But because…_

The admission was not really one he was prepared to make to himself, so he pushed it away as he helped them wrap Han in the shroud, then lower him into the hole, before heaping the dirt back over.

"Do you want to say anything, any of you?" Lysander asked, breaking the silence.

As Aisa shook her head, Juniper reached into his pocket, and pulled out the packet, holding it up with a flourish. Aisa and Lysander looked at him in confusion.

"What is that?" Aisa asked.

"Rose seeds." Juniper said.

"Why? Why roses, of all the things?" Aisa asked, her mouth twisting as she looked at the packet.

Juniper shrugged, and fidgeted self-consciously. There was a part of him that had anticipated this. After they'd learnt about their last life, and Rosetum, Aisa had more or less declared she hated roses, hated them with a passion. Anything that had had a rose motif on it, she'd thrown out (including one of his face masks which he hadn't been too pleased about).

"Han loved them, didn't he?"

Whatever Aisa had been gearing up to say was abruptly lost as she stared, and blinked.

"Yes, he did." Lysander confirmed.

Aisa stared for a moment longer, then her hand trembled as she reached to grasp the packet, though she did not yet pull it from his hands.

"You're right. I don't understand why, but he did. May I?"

"Yeah, yeah, go for it!" Juniper said, laughing awkwardly as he let Aisa take the seeds.

He stepped back as Aisa opened the packet carefully, and then knelt down. Her jacket billowed around her as she carefully pressed the seeds into the dirt, and then covered them up with more. Anticipating what she would look for next, Jun grabbed the bottle of water, and held it out to her. She reached for it, then sprinkled the water around before getting up. Relief was etched clearly onto her face.

"It's done."

"Oh, good! Now can we_ please_ have a drink?"

"We may as well, right, Aisa?"

"Yeah." Aisa sighed, and yawned. "Yeah."

They sat down, while Jun poured them whiskey into the glasses, and handed them out. He sat on one side of Aisa, while Lysander sat on the other, and once his glass was filled, he held it out in front of them.

"To Han?" he asked.

Aisa and Lysander both smiled, and held out their own glasses. They clinked, the sound travelling up into the ever-brightening sky.

"To Han." They all said.

"Thank you." Aisa breathed into the silence that followed.

_Yes, thank you. For being braver than I would ever have been if I were you. _

…

Gradually, they settled into a new and quiet life, keeping themselves to themselves for the most part. They only wandered into the nearest towns when it was necessary, and set up the necessary steps to get orders in bulk to an agreed point near to their cottage. They aimed to be as distant from the towns as possible, so that they were not connected to their old lives in any way. But when one day, they were buying supplies at the same time a band of robbers decided that day was the day to pillage the town of Eos, they could not help but intervene. After that, they had that entire town devoted to them, and Aisa in particular pointed out it'd be foolish to not make use of that. So they started to put down roots-shallow roots, but roots all the same. Still, they kept themselves to themselves for the most part, and were satisfied.

They also kept in infrequent but regular touch with Hanako and Woyoo (or rather, Bucky, since they got used to Hanako's new/old name for him). It was partially out of a habit, an acknowledgement that the life they had been bought up in this time around had become a part of their psyches too. But they all remembered the other life in which they had cared for those two when they were mere animals, and they could not help but still feel the pangs of that. Nonetheless, they were not permitted to their cottage or even Han's grave until a good few years had passed.

In the background of all this, the roses that had been planted grew. And they grew, and grew. Somewhat amusingly, Juniper seemed to develop green fingers, and meticulously cared for them, even buying more seeds, and buying bushes and cuttings to add to the collection. All of these bloomed, big and bright and beautiful, spanning from the deepest red to the brightest gold, with some blooms of black and white providing surprising contrasts. Even in the coldest of those first winters, they blossomed against the odds. To them, it seemed clear that somehow, Han had something to do with it.

So, when, a few years after they first settled, a combination of factors (restlessness, suggestions from Woyoo and a town's resident they often shared cuttings with, the understanding that they couldn't spend all the days of their life knocking around in their cottage) led to them deciding to start selling their flowers at different outlets, the name they would give their orders seemed obvious:

Han's Garden.

**…**

Aisa pedalled as fast as she could down the hill, letting herself enjoy the sensation of wind in her hair, recalling a time when she pedalled down similar hills as a young child in a different life, red backpack on her back, and her friends' voices laughing, telling her 'let's go home' or challenging her to a race or simply enjoying the moment. It had been six years since Han had died, and though even saying those words in her head still hurt, the memories no longer did. Not entirely. Still, there was nothing more than a giddy, pure joy as she cycled to the florist's.

When she got there, she tied her bike-one that looked innocuously old-fashioned but was anything but-and tied it to one of the solar lampposts. She opened the basket and took out the sample bouquets of gold fringed black tea roses that they'd started growing in Han's Garden, before setting the various alarms on her bike, and heading in.

The owner, Tella, was tapping something on one of the screens behind the till while robotic assistants tended to displays around the shop. For a few moments, none noticed Aisa's presence, but then Tella looked up and gave Aisa a big, toothy grin.

"Well, look who we have here!"

"Hello, Tella. I have some new samples."

"I can see that. Oooh, those do look classy. Our regulars are going to love them-they're always asking, you know 'oh Tels, when will you get more Han's Garden roses for the bouquet selections' and all that. I've had to stop selling them as solo bouquets, otherwise we'd have literal riots."

"We can possibly arrange you getting more stock in. We have others we sell to as well, but you were one of the first to stock them."

Tella grinned again at this.

"Okay, let me put these safely around the back and then we can go around to the offices and talk buisness. Kia, Mateo! You need to go around the front! You're doing quite well, actually. "

Aisa followed Tella as they chattered and grinned, and looked around at the different flowers. She spotted some roses that were of the Han's Garden variety, and others that were just roses. Though Juniper was the real horticulturist, she could tell which roses were of good quality, and which weren't. Still, the very sight of them made her chest clench a little, and she had to remind herself to take a breath more than once.

She watched Tella quietly as they bounced around keeping the roses in containers with appropriate water and food until such a time they could be arranged and put out as they or her colleagues saw fit. Then, they sat down, and talked buisness, concluding with Tella giving Aisa the season's spreadsheet on her E-screen.

"As usual, that's after I've made my deductions. No more, no less. You can check."

"I don't need to check," Aisa said even as she did just that. "You'd regret it if you did that, anyway."

"Oh, I know that."

It was more of the joking camaderie that they had, but underneath it, Aisa had deliberately kept the edge and she knew Tella was smart enough to notice it and understand it-she, like everyone in Eos, knew what Aisa was made of. And more than that, knew who was behind Aisa, all the way and then some. And so, the relief when Aisa looked up and nodded in satisfaction was all too clear.

"Soooo," Tella said with a laugh. "What will you be doing after this?"

"Oh, just more work, and then I have bread to bake."

Aisa could not help but smile. Even though it had been a lifetime ago she'd been a princess that baked bread for a literal demon, her hands had still remembered how to do it once she'd taken it up, and now she baked at every opportunity. Alright, so Juniper had now become a metaphorical demon for her baking as a result, but it was fun. It was yet another gift that Han had given them.

Obviously, though, she did not tell Tella this. Could not. Instead, they made their goodbyes, and Aisa left, greeting Kia and Mateo at the front on her way out, and then unlocking and riding her bike all the way back to the garden.

She locked her bike around the back, then went inside to upload the spreadsheets and other admin to their own computers. Once she was done, she headed straight down into Han's Garden.

"Hey, when am I getting my bread?" Jun called over jokingly.

"Juniper!" Lysander protested. "She's just gotten back from Tella. Speaking of which?"

"Everything's good, all in order. It's all on there if you want to look." She said. "As for you, bread maniac, later, okay?"

She managed a smile at this, and Juniper simply grinned while Lysander chuckled in the background. Heading to the centre of the garden, she wrapped her arms around herself, felt her steps grow heavier and slower, until finally, she was there, and she sank to her knees. She reached to a low-hanging rose bush branch, but could not bring herself to touch the pretty deep red flowers. Instead, she let her hand fall back to her side, and she stared at it. Stared, and stared, until an image formed of Han, kneeling down by the rose, lifting it up without caring the thorns were pricking his hands, and then holding it to his face, breathing in the scent.

"_You always look so sad when you smell them? Why do you keep doing it?"_ she remembered herself asking.

In that same memory, Han blinked, as if waking from a dream, and gazed at her thoughtfully.

"_I still love them, anyway. Despite everything. I love them."_

"_What do you mean, despite everything?"_

Of course, now she understood, but back then, it had seemed such a strange thing for him to say. And clearly, he had not intended to, because when she had asked, his eyes had widened in surprise for a moment, and he'd stiffened. Then, after a long moment, he'd relaxed and shook his head.

"_Things can be sad and beautiful at the same time, can't they?"_

Aisa could not remember what she had said to that. Did it even matter, in the end? She sighed, and then forced herself to reach over, touch the petals. They were soft and vaguely velvety to the touch, but almost instantly she pulled back as if burnt.

_Sad and beautiful at the same time. _

But she could not love them. Not the way Han had. But still, in a way, she did love these roses, because they were what Han had loved. And more than that-now they were something of him, too. It was more than she deserved, but she would cling onto it.

Aisa shook her head, then decisively stood up and brushed her slim-fitting jeans down. Turning her back on the roses, she headed back up to the cottage, to bake bread for her two other dearest people.

**…**

Typically, they did not celebrate anniversaries, and Juniper liked that just fine. After all, every single day, when he toiled (quite happily, but it was a toil) in Han's Garden, tending those roses so they were the most beautiful they could be, he was visiting Han's grave. Every time they mentioned Han's Garden, they were saying his name. And with more memories that nobody would reasonably expect a single person to hold, they were not in danger of forgetting. No. The honouring of Han's life and death was in the small, the ordinary, the everyday, and that was how Jun preferred it.

But that didn't mean he didn't notice when those anniversaries rolled around each year. And the others didn't forget, either. Lysander started to pull all-nighters in the lead-up, and Aisa would take to pulling Han's jacket out of storage and wearing it (even though it had in recent years started to fall to pieces). On some years, one or the both of them had quietly lit an real wax candle and left it on the dinner table on the actual evening itself, but had not commented on it. This year was much the same, with similar things happening, but now it was different too. Because it was the tenth.

All this, Jun dwelled on as he sorted out affairs in Kaimachi, a seaside town a few train stops away from Eos. The tenth anniversary-ten years of extra life that they had been given, thanks to Han. It felt weighty, momentous. _It is something we should celebrate, isn't it? _It certainly felt like something that called for extra than the small, the ordinary, the everyday.

_But, what do I do? _Juniper wondered as he entered a supermarket to stock up on food before he made his way back home. _When I don't want to do anything? _Anniversaries, to the best of his understanding, were things that were big and celebratory, where people talked and shared memories and feelings. Which was fine, except there was one thing he still did not want to say, no matter what.

Jun finished finding what he needed to buy, paid at a self-service checkout, and then left, making his way back to the train station. He idly looked in at the window displays, more to distract himself from his various thoughts than anything. Then, something caught his eye, and he stopped abruptly and studied it.

The window display was part of some sort of kitsch gift store, claiming to sell things that were 'cute and retro'. Now, he could not be particularly sure whether anything in the window display was of either the cute or the retro variety, but the big wicker picnic basket in the window took his breath away.

"_We can sit here!"_

_Mera laughed as she put the basket down, and tugged the blanket out of it. She spread it out, and almost instantly, Koji jumped on it. Cinn and Han followed suit, rolling around, and the three were soon laughing. _

"_Hey!" Mera giggled at them. "You're like puppies! Let me get everything out!"_

"_Food!" Koji sat up immediately, pushing off the other two. "What do you have?"_

"_Help me get it out and you'll see!"_

That day in that life, Juniper remembered, had been their last. After that picnic, they'd hopped back on their bicycles, and ventured further into the woods, and they had never come out. _How on earth did you do it, Han? _he wondered as he took deep breaths, trying hard not to be re-consumed by the terror that he had felt back then. _How did you manage to remember all this, and not be completely fucking pole-axed? It's bad enough I am remembering dying, you watched it all, every time. And you never gave us a clue that so much was going through your mind. _

But he knew the answer was simple, really. Han had been a better person than he could ever be. He stared at that picnic basket a moment longer, and then decisively pushed open the door and walked into the shop.

Almost immediately, he spotted a display with more picnic baskets, and he strode over to it. Each basket had a folded blanket in it, and he immediately chose one that had a similar pattern to the one that they'd eaten out of on that day-pink flowers. He took it to a self-service till, not really wanting the person at the manned till to try and probe him as to why he was buying something he was fully aware didn't seem the type of thing someone like him would buy, and then once he had paid for it, he went home.

Lysander and Aisa were still out in the garden when he got there-but rather than go down to them, he went straight inside to unpack the shopping. There, he set the picnic basket on the table, and put some of the food away. The rest, he put into the oven, or microwave, and programmed them, before sneaking upstairs. He opened the door of Aisa's bedroom, and looked around. Though he hadn't been expecting it to be, he saw Han's jacket lying across the bed-one of the sleeves was almost completely off, and it was otherwise tattered. Juniper felt a pang, knowing it would have killed Aisa that it was in this state. But, perversely pleased that his idea to fix it was actually going to happen, he crept in, snatched it, and then went to his own room to get needles and thread and other bits, before heading to the kitchen.

So, when Lysander and Aisa did eventually come in, what they saw was Juniper sitting at the table carefully stitching the jacket back together, while picnic foods were strewn around the kitchen in various states of preparation.

"When'd you get back?" Lysander asked.

"Oh, a while ago." Jun shrugged, pretending to concentrate on the jacket.

"And you've been here….all this time?"

Aisa said this slowly, looking from the jacket Juniper was holding in his hands, to the picnic basket, and then back again.

"Doing…this?" she asked after a long pause.

"Yeah."

Juniper shrugged, and felt himself colour slightly.

"What do you all say to having a picnic tonight? Outside the house-or, no, maybe on the roof?"

"On the roof?" Lysander and Aisa asked in unison.

"Sure, why not? It'll be special."

_Because today _is_ special. _And this was the closest that Juniper could say it, and they knew it. Aisa frowned for a moment, and then brightened.

"That would be great. Shall I help with the rest of the food?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

"And I'll help with the jacket. No offence, but you're crap at hems, Jun."

"Oi!" Juniper laughed. "I'll have you know I've done a semi-decent job!"

"Sure you have."

Laughing, the three of them carried on with what they were doing. Then, when the sky was dark and bedazzled with stars, the three of them hefted the picnic basket crammed with food onto their roof. Juniper laid out the floral blanket, Lysander arranged the food on the flat surface, and Aisa poured champagne into glasses, handing them out before they all stood and looked at the stars, a faint breeze tickling all their hair, and making Han's now-fixed coat flutter behind Aisa. For a moment, all that was between them was the silence of the night. Then, they clinked those glasses, and let that noise resound for a moment, carrying all their feelings with it. And as they sat down to enjoy the food, Juniper was relieved to realise that nothing had needed to be said.

All of this was more than enough.

**…**

One spring afternoon, when Hanako and Bucky came to visit, there was something different about them that Lysander could sense even as he spotted them coming up. But it was only when they got closer, and he noticed both that Hanako seemed softer and rounder and had some sort of sling strapped around her that he realised what it was.

"How old?" he asked, stepping forward to look at the small baby fast asleep in the sling.

"A couple of months." Hanako answered. "Her name is Kady."

"Kady." Lysander murmured. He lightly brushed the small, soft cheek. The baby snuffled softly, but didn't wake. He studied the small, inscrutable face that was too young to really resemble either of her parents, and then straightened to look at them.

"You must be proud." He said to both of them.

Both of them nodded with smiles that were slightly weary.

"Tired, too." Hanako added.

"She is a good sleeper though." Bucky said.

"Better than most her age, for sure." Hanako agreed. "But anyway, we've both got some new roses for you to graft."

Bucky held up the cuttings he was carrying.

"Nice, nice. They're both down there, come down and introduce them to Kady."

Lysander escorted them down to the garden, all the while sneaking as many looks as he could at baby Kady. There was nothing particularly special about her-she was small, and wrinkled, and looked much as babies tended to look. Yet, a feeling he couldn't identify had swamped over him, and he was captivated.

"Look who's here!" he said as he entered the garden.

Aisa, who was carrying a basket that she was gradually filling with new red-and-pink spiral-swirled blooms, a result of some of the roses they had grafted the year before, spun around.

"Hanako, Bucky! Hiya-"her greeting was warm as always, but as her gaze fell on Kady, she paused. For a moment, she just gaped, and then her smile returned, wider than before.

"Oh my goodness. You two kept that quiet!" she exclaimed, walking over. "Juniper! Come over here!"

Hanako just smiled at their reactions. Juniper emerged from a deeper part of the garden, holding shears, leaves in his peach hair. He stared, instantly clocking the baby.

"You guys have a kid."

"That we do." Bucky said.

"Holy cr-I mean, wow."

"It's fine, she's too little to understand," Bucky said. "Never pegged you to be the type to care about swearing around children."

"Yeah, well." Jun shrugged and blushed as he and Aisa came over to look at the child.

Lysander joined them again, and there were a few moments of cooing over Kady, which just intensified when she opened her eyes and looked at them, reaching out her chubby starfish hands. Instinctually, Lysander touched his finger to the tiny palm, and was mesmerised when the tiny fingers grasped his with surprising strength.

"She likes you." Hanako murmured. "Do you want to hold her?"

All Lysander could do was nod. With a knowing smile, Hanako got Bucky to help her undo the sling, and deposit Kady into his arms, having to tiptoe to adjust how he held her.

"Hah, now you'll be stuck on babysitting duty, Lys!" Juniper crowed.

"I don't mind." Lysander said, trying to shrug and seem nonchalant. "Shall we go back into the house?"

They did, and while the others went off to talk buisness, Lysander stayed in the living room with the baby, who seemed very placid-though he couldn't say that he would not have minded if she hadn't been. He wouldn't have known exactly what to do, but he wouldn't have minded. As it was, he sung softly and rocked her, occasionally rambling to her about anything he could think of. Their roses, what her mum and dad meant to him and Jun and Aisa. How he was sure that she would end up having a good life, because though her parents were in the mafia life, they wouldn't throw her in it until she was ready-if she wanted to be ready. And then, he started to tell her about Han. Not all the gory details, but about Han all the same.

"If you gain friends like that and they aren't taken from you," he told her, in the end. "You'll be one of the luckiest people in the world."

A clearing of a throat made him startle, and he turned to see Hanako, Bucky, Aisa and Jun staring at him. Lysander blinked at them, too startled to really be embarrassed. Then, he got up, and with more reluctance than he wanted to admit, handed Kady back. Again, Hanako gave him a knowing smile, but did not say anything as she strapped Kady back on her chest again, and as they set off down the hill with Bucky.

Aisa and Juniper waved cheerily, but soon went back to they were doing. Lysander, on the other hand, ended up watching them until they were completely out of sight.

**…**

"Hey, Lys, are you alright?"

Lysander looked up, startled, to meet Juniper's slightly furrowed expression across their dinner table. He tried to muster up a smile.

"I'm…fine…"

"Are you sure?" Now Aisa spoke up, putting down her chopsticks. "You've been quiet since Hanako and Bucky left."

"Well, quieter than usual." Juniper added.

"And Kady."

"And Kady." Aisa echoed.

As she did, an expression shifted over her face, suggesting that something seemed to click in her mind, and she gave him a _look_. Lysander shuffled uncomfortably, knowing full well that she had more than likely figured him out.

"Man, of all the things, I didn't expect they'd have a kiddo." Juniper said. "Still, they seem happy, don't they?"

"They do." Lysander said.

"Wow, man, didn't realise you felt so strongly!"

Now Juniper stared at him carefully, and Lysander just wanted the earth to swallow him up. _Am I really being that obvious? _He hoped not. But, looking back at how he had been with Kady, he suspected that he had. The strange thing was, all these feelings were new to him.

"I'm just happy for them, that's all. The baby is cute, too." Lysander said, trying to salvage himself just a little more.

Juniper raised an eyebrow, and Aisa continued to scrutinise him. Then, suddenly, Juniper's eyes widened.

"Don't tell me you're wanting a kid too."

_Okay, I was. _Lysander sighed deeply, and ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath, remembered the unexpectedly strong grip of tiny fingers, and then looked at them both.

"It doesn't matter." he said. "It wouldn't happen, anyway."

"Wait, I was _joking_! "

"I know. But it doesn't matter, Jun."

"But…." Juniper started again, then faltered, gawping at him. "What on earth would you do with a kid?"

"I wouldn't. Because it wouldn't happen. So it doesn't _matter_, okay?"

His voice rose a few tones, surprising even him. Aisa was now frowning, while Juniper blinked, and leaned back. Lysander sighed again, regretting it.

"Sorry."

"Alright, alright, let's not talk about that anymore." Aisa said decisively before either Juniper or Lysander could speak again.

Lysander was more than happy to oblige with this, and so they did indeed talk about other things-work, and silly things, including a slightly outrageous hook-up story from Juniper's last time out in town. But all the time, he felt Aisa and Juniper give him cautious sideways glances. And sure enough, when they were getting ready for bed, Aisa cornered him outside his room.

"I could do that, for you."

"Do what?"

"Give you a child."

"I…." It took Lysander's brain more than a moment to catch up. "Do you mean…?"

Aisa wrapped her dressing gown around her tightly, but she remained resolute, looking him in the eye, expression solid and determined as she nodded.

"Aisa…"

Lysander looked at her, really looked at her. Soft pink hair, curly and reaching her shoulders. Blue eyes and fair skin that took years off of her age of 36. Slim figure, honed by years of combat training, enveloped in white nightdress and blue floaty dressing gown (which was slipping off of one shoulder). So very, very treasured to him. He might not have loved her in that sort of way-indeed, that sort of love was one that he had quietly labelled as impossible and set aside in his life-but all the same, he loved her.

And that would make it so, so easy to just say yes. He could just say yes, and for a moment envision a different sort of life, where he didn't have to set aside aspects of it. For a moment, he just wanted to do the easy thing.

_But…_

"It wouldn't be fair to you. "

Aisa opened her mouth to say something, but Lysander shook his head to silence her.

"It wouldn't. You know it wouldn't be. It means a lot that you would even offer. But no."

"But…."

"It's okay, really." Lysander tried to make it sound true. "After all, even in the best life, you can't have everything, can you?"

_Of course we can't. Otherwise, there would have been a way to release us from the curse without Han having to die, without him having to have made us hate him for all those years. _If they could really have had everything, they would have been growing roses with him, just because they could. They would not be growing flowers in a single garden infused with grief.

"Oh, Lysander…"

Her eyes watered, but he knew she understood. He gave her a weary smile. _It really would be so easy. _

"Go to bed, Aisa."

"I will. Goodnight."

Aisa reached up to touch his cheek, then she wrapped her gown around her again, and turned, disappearing into her bedroom. Lysander watched for a moment longer, then headed to his own room.

**…**

Aisa was always on the guard for unusual things in her environment. It was an effect of this life-one did not become a feared mafia leader, and one did not cut that life away, without being someone who could stay on their guard, no matter how comfortable they were. And since she was now taking the night train back into Eon, where she'd then easily walk home, she should have been more comfortable here than elsewhere. But something had caught her attention, and she couldn't work out what it was.

Carefully, furtively, she did a scan of the station, and the various things and people in it. Then, she spotted a young woman slipping out of the public bathrooms, looking from side to side as she wrapped a coat around her and exited in slow, unsteady steps. Aisa studied her for a moment, then looked to where she had come from. Then, she made a snap decision, and headed to the bathrooms herself.

There was nobody inside the blue-tiled space, and another scan didn't initially reveal anything that seemed amiss. No suspicious packages or notes or anything like that. But then, she though she heard a noise. Stiffening, she closed her eyes for a moment, and then she heard it. A faint snuffling, coming from the….

_What?_

Aisa strode over to the coin lockers, and carefully listened at the door of each one, eventually finding one that was about chest height to her. The snuffling seemed clear to her now, but when she tried to open it, she could not. This didn't faze her though, and she simply dug in the pocket of her waistcoat dress for a lock picker, and worked with it until the door was prized open. She peered in.

And for a long moment, she simply stared.

"_I could do that, for you."_

"_Do what?"_

"_Give you a child."_

It had been months since that conversation, and it'd hardly been bought up again. They'd just got on with their lives, the same as usual. And sure, Lysander always asked after Kady in any contact with Hanako or Bucky, was eagerly awaiting updates on Hanako's second pregnancy, and seemed to become misty-eyed at the sight of young children in Eos and beyond. But if she hadn't known that he wanted that for himself, she would never have thought anything of it. Never. But still, she wished that he had said yes to her.

There had been plenty of lives of hers where sooner or later, it'd be expected for her to have children. Especially that life where she had been a princess. More than likely, she would have had those children with Han, the prince of that life. In this life, too, before Han had 'betrayed' them and made it impossible, she suspected that they would have had a child, to carry on Sanguis' legacy. Either way, she had to admit that she might have liked those chances.

But it was not just that. In the here and now, in the life she had, first, she'd had Han. Then, in the years she'd poured into hating him (and the first few after his death), there had been no time for such desires. After that, she had from time to time seen a paid consort –what a funny term that was, especially when she remembered eras when 'consort' meant something different-but it was lonely. So lonely. There was something to be said for the very particular love of being held, skin to skin. But she could not ask for that love from Lysander or even Juniper, not when they gave her so much other love already. Yet, if Lysander had said yes, then at least in return she'd be giving something.

Aisa hesitated as she looked at the baby in the locker, half asleep and slightly grubby. She knew it would not be fair to take this baby, to give him to Lysander, not when her original offer had not been entirely selfless. _Yet…._

She thought of the wistfulness she saw on Lysander these days, the weary smile of that night, the way he had acted around Kady on that first day. She remembered everything, every single thing they had been through. Just because she wanted something, it didn't mean she had to advertise it. She could still give to Lysander, and leave it at that.

_Besides, what sort of life is a coin-locker baby going to have anyway, if someone doesn't take care of it? _

The decision, in the end, was inevitable. Carefully, she pulled the baby out of the locker. The blankets around it were thin and inadequate, and clumsily she unfurled her own scarf to wrap around him (a cursory check confirmed that the child was indeed a him), before going back to the platform. The woman who'd presumably left the baby behind was nowhere to be seen, clearly desperate to have been shot of him. After messaging the others so they wouldn't be completely caught out when she returned, Aisa held the baby tightly to her the whole way through the journey, on guard for anyone who might question her holding him. Luckily, none of them did, and the baby slept the whole way.

Of course, he started crying the moment she finally got to their hill. Giddy with excitement and panic, she rocked him ineffectually as she trudged up.

"Shh, shhhh."

"Aisa?"

Lysander came out of the cottage first, followed by Juniper, who hovered behind nervously as Lysander strode over, and then came up short.

"Hey there, little guy." He said, getting straight to it. "You okay? Want some milk?"

Without looking at Aisa, he expertly scooped the baby out of her arms, and then walked back into the cottage. Dumbly, Aisa followed, and watched as Lysander fed the baby from a bottle that presumably he must have bought from a store in Eos once he and Juniper'd received the message. Gradually, between the milk and the soft words that Lysander murmured, the baby calmed down again. When silence returned, at first Lysander did not look up or acknowledge anyone else. But then, slowly, his head lifted, and he met Aisa's eyes.

"You did not need to." He said, still in a low, gentle tone, half-wondrous.

"No," she acknowledged, her shoulders stiff with tension. "But he's a coin locker baby."

"Poor thing." Juniper interjected here.

"I'd never thought that I would actually…." Looking down at the baby again, Lysander trailed off for a moment, then looked up again.

"Are you sure? Are both of you sure?"

Aisa nodded resolutely, then looked at Juniper. Juniper stared bug-eyed, then ran his hand through his already messy peach hair and heaved a huge sigh.

"Well, I'm sure we'll figure it out as we go along. Right, Aisa?"

"Of course. "

And though she knew she would not get what she had secretly been hoping for, the smile that appeared on Lysander's face was more than worth it.

**…**

Juniper heard the tiny patter of feet behind him as he sat down to put on his boots, and looked up to see Tristan staring at him with those wide, dark eyes.

"Oh hey, buddy."

Tristan broke into a grin, but didn't say anything as he pointed at Juniper and stared with un-nerving intensity. At four years old, he wasn't speaking, but apart from that he seemed fine, and everyone they'd asked said that he would speak once ready. Lysander and Aisa were not overly worried, either. So, for now, they relied on Tristan's facial expressions and gestures, and muddled through.

"You want to know where I'm going?" Jun asked, heaving an internal sigh of relief when Tristan nodded.

"Gotta take some roses to the warehouse." He said. "Want to help me sort them out?"

Tristan bounced on the heels of his feet, and then mimed cutting.

"No, buddy, the ones in the outhouse. We have to make sure they're in tip-top shape and then pack them in the carts. Do you want to help? Come down to the warehouse too?"

This was asked on an impulse, but when Tristan's face lit up and he bounced more, Juniper sighed internally once again, and ruffled the little boy's dark, slightly-too-long hair.

"Alright then. Let's go tell Aisa and Lys first."

"What are you telling us?"

Almost as if he'd summoned them, Aisa and Lysander appeared at the foot of the stairs. Tristan bounded over and rushed over to them both. Aisa hugged him, and then Lysander lifted him up, eliciting giggles. Juniper watched them for a moment, feeling a little like a third wheel. He had overheard that conversation four years ago, just snatches of it, but all the same, he had overheard it and he had expected _something _to have happened. Nothing had though, as far as he could tell. Otherwise, the way Tristan had entered their lives would have been different. He had been relieved, to realise it, but still, there were moments like this that had him wondering. Wondering, and envious of Aisa if that really was true. Not that he knew why, for this life. In other lives, sure, he'd had feelings for Lysander, but not in this one.

He supposed that in the end, it did not fully matter. So Juniper shrugged it off, as he always did in the end, and answered Aisa's question.

"Tristan wants to come with me to the warehouse, is that okay?"

"He hasn't had breakfast yet, but sure." Lysander told Juniper.

"Aisa left enough for like three people, I can always split it." Juniper said when Tristan started to pout.

"Well, at the least, he needs to wrap up." Aisa said. "And I'll get extra. Hold on."

Aisa disappeared, and Lysander set Tristan down.

"Get your coat and bag from upstairs, Tristan."

Tristan nodded, and raced upstairs. A few moments later, the pitter patter of feet signalled his return, and he came down brandishing his planet-decorated backpack with relish.

"Your coat?" Lysander asked.

In response, Tristan pointed to the coat hooks, where sure enough his dark blue and silver coat, almost military with its configuration of buttons and piping around the edges, was hanging from the peg that Juniper had hammered in to be the right height for Tristan.

"Oh, fair enough."

Lysander exchanged a look with Juniper, and they both grinned as Tristan took the jacket off the peg, and then clumsily put it on, painstakingly fiddling with the buttons. They waited to be sure he needed the help, knowing that he would fiercely-if somewhat silently-resist their efforts to swoop in and resist. Once he was done, he looked at them expectantly, then abruptly narrowed his eyes at Juniper.

"What?" he asked.

Tristan puffed up his cheeks and pouted, then tugged at his coat before then running up to Juniper and reaching up to tap him.

"He's telling you to put on a coat."

"What. Ohhh." Jun looked down at Tristan. "Kid, have you ever in your life seen me wear anything up here?"

Tristan frowned quizzically at this. Then, suddenly, he walked back to his hook again, and lifted the scarf from it, before coming back to hand it expectantly to Juniper.

"You want me to wear this?"

Tristan nodded, giving him the puppy-dog eyes. Juniper sighed, and stared at the red knitted scarf with ducks all over it. It was the perfect size for a diminutive four year old, not for a muscular 40 year old. But of course, he wasn't going to refuse.

So, just as Aisa arrived back to see this and burst into peals of laughter over it, Juniper took the scarf, and wrapped it around his neck.

**…**

Sure enough, in time, Tristan did speak. They they home-schooled him until he was 10, after that they took the plunge and enrolled him in a local school in Eos, having him stay at Tella's (over the years, the florist had become a good friend) during the weekdays of term time to make it easier. It was not as hard as they'd expected it to be, because they knew he had to be a part of the world, so they had not prevented him from seeing doctors or any of the other sorts of people that children needed to see in their childhoods (there were, as it turned out, a dizzying array). Lysander had taken him down to Eos frequently so he could play with other children (and of course, he would end up playing with Hanako and Bucky's children-Kady who was a year older, Miya who was a few months younger, and then the twins Asa and Ava who were three years younger).

Even so, it was frightening. Tristan was clever, and soon became popular, and as a teenager earned a scholarship to a computing specialism high school he'd have to board at. But seeing Tristan blossom and become happy, grabbing life with his hands and making the most of it, it was worth it. And all of them, not just Lysander, had to admit that bringing him into their lives had given it new dimensions and colour. Their world was the better for it.

But, there were limits. The world they had expanded out for Tristan did not extend into their home. Never did anyone visit them right in their home, whether a teacher or a delivery person or a friend of Tristan's, or even Tella. They certainly did not go into Han's Garden. No, that place was their own corner of the world, one that only belonged to them.

**…**

"What happens if I find someone I want to marry? And if I have children with them? What then?" Tristan asked one day when he was 16.

It was the summer, he was back home from school, and they were all cutting roses.

"Um….that's a good question." Juniper said. "I don't actually know. Aisa, Lys?"

"_Jun_." Tristan sighed. Then, he turned to Aisa and Lysander. "Ai? Dad?"

"You don't need to worry about being married now, you've still got school to finish, and then university, and then-"

"Dad. Come on."

Tristan watched as the three adults who had bought him up paused their motions and stared at each other. There was a part of him that wasn't really surprised that they hadn't thought of it. After all, they weren't even in a _relationship_ in any combination let alone married. Not that he particularly wanted to think of his parents doing it (what sixteen year old did?) but he realised full well that he was one of very few people who knew them truly, and so he knew they were not together in that sense, though they did love each other. And okay, they'd never prevented him from exploring the world or actually having friends, but it clearly had not occurred to them that he didn't want his home to always be so secluded from the world. What sort of life was it where he could not invite his own close loved ones to his home?

"He brings up a good point." Lysander said to the other two slowly. "When we're gone, we can't expect Tristan to be here alone."

"This is our space though." Jun protested.

"It'll be Tristan's once we're gone. Which won't be for years yet, but it will be. So…"

Lysander frowned at this. Silence reigned for a long moment, and Tristan watched them all gaze into the centre of the garden, where Han was buried. For an absurd moment, he remembered being five-before he was speaking-and wanting to see what Han looked like, not 100% understanding death, and deciding to try and dig. Aisa had found him, before he'd gotten very far, and it was the closest she'd gotten to getting properly mad at him (though gods knew that she could be very fiery sometimes).

"We never assumed that you'd be here, you know." Aisa told him, suddenly. "We always assumed that this life would just contain the three of us. And then I found you, and it didn't anymore. But I'd never change that."

"We wouldn't, either." Lysander said with feeling.

Tristan just nodded, cautiously waiting.

"This place is a birthright now." Aisa continued. "If you want to keep it, then yes, you will need to invite your future wife or husband here. But please, be absolutely sure of them first. And if you want to open it up more, please wait until we're buried."

"Buried, you mean…?"

Tristan gestured over to Han's burial site, then looked at Aisa's face cautiously. She nodded, firmly, but it was Juniper who spoke.

"Yeah, once we're back with Han, do whatever."

"Does that work for you?"

Tristan considered this. It was a weird conversation to then even have, but this was not a normal life. And looking at Aisa and Lysander and Juniper, he knew he wouldn't have it any different. Even if he only called one of them 'dad', they were all his parents. In a way, even Han was, though they never had and never would meet. So he nodded, and then on an impulse stepped forward to hug Lysander. The hug was returned fiercely, and then they all went back to the roses.

**…**

The only reason that Laure was coming up here with her father was because he had asked her to, and since most of their life it had been the two of them, she found it hard to refuse him. She had always found her three 'grandparents' intimidating, though they had always been nice to her and she knew they'd supported Tristan when her mother Reina had walked away from them, years ago when she was a young baby. But there was something scary about them, the way that even though she'd really only properly met Lysander and Aisa's, they'd been a tight unit and she hadn't really known them.

On top of that, Aisa's devotion to the place was frustrating-she was well into her old age, unlike Juniper, who had died aged 70 when she was two and Lysander five years after that, in an era where life expectancies were in the 105-110 bracket. She would be better off living with Tristan, down in Eos, that way if anything happened they'd be able to look after her. But no, she had insisted on staying all the way up here, tending to the roses in Han's Garden and swanning around as if she was still in her twenties like Laure herself was. She wouldn't even hire someone to help her up at the house. At the warehouses, sure. But not the house or the garden itself-the only ones who could come up there were Tristan, Laure, and her 'aunts' (and once upon a time, her mother, until she'd left them and then she'd overheard Aisa saying that now she'd never be welcome if she did ever return to their lives). And Aisa's _only _reasoning was that she needed to be near Lysander and Juniper and Han as well, and that she was to be buried (_buried_!) with them when her time came. And her father went with it, encouraged it even.

Then again, he also often told her that her 'grandfathers' had lived long lives, and she knew enough of their pasts to understand why someone might think that even if it was objectively nonsense. And she had to admit, she loved the stories, and always had. Even if she had to take some of them with a pinch of salt.

_I suppose that's two reasons, then. _But as they trudged up the hill, Laure couldn't resist asking:

"Hey, Dad, are you going to ask Gran if she's changed her mind about coming to live with you?"

Tristan's eyes-ones that she'd inherited-looked soulfully at her.

"Laure, you know what I'm going to say, don't you?"

Laure huffed.

"Dad, she's just being stubborn, you know it."

"Ai isn't frail though, Laure. Far from it. But this place…it is her world. No, it was their world. They built it for Han, so that they could still have him with them. You know the stories. But anyway, Ai is tough. And we're going to check on her, aren't we?"

Well, tough was one way to put it. One thing she had to show for the stories was an interest in history, and she was now studying it at university. On one research project about organised crime, she'd found a story of two gangs in the North District in the early 3000s, known as Sanguis and Eros, and how a series of inexplicable events had led to one disappearing despite a decisive victory, and the other breaking down and being absorbed into smaller gangs, which then rose to the top themselves. From poring over the holos and the various stories, and slotting it to what she knew, it had not been difficult to make the connections. She had not said anything to Tristan though. She was not sure why-he'd not lied about the rest, he wouldn't lie about this. But still, she hadn't.

And with that in mind, she just grimly nodded, and then her father changed the subject by asking her about university, which they talked about until they got to the door of the cottage. Tristan went over to the discreet keypad and tapped in the code, and then opened it. Laure followed cautiously, looking around. Already, something seemed wrong. Though of course it would be fairly empty with only one person living there, empty was indeed the first thing that came to mind.

"Dad?"

"I know, Laure." Tristan said, whispering. Then, he raised his voice. "Ai? It's us. Tristan, and Laure."

"Gran?"

But there was only silence, and it did not take very long for either of them to discover why. For in the living room, they found Aisa, sitting on the sofa, leaning back, eyes closed and snow-white hair mussed. The book (of the extremely old variety, as opposed to E or holo) she had been reading was face down on her lap, pages slightly askew, and the lights were still on. For all the world, she looked as if she was still asleep.

But of course, she wasn't.

"Laure," she heard her father say quietly behind her. "I think you need to call Aunt Kady."

**…**

It was sunset when Kady arrived in the garden. Laure was covered with soil, rose petals, and tears and Tristan was similar. But now, it was done. Aisa's body had joined the other three (and what a strange, strange sight that had been to see), wrapped in that threadbare black coat Tristan had desperately looked for as soon as Kady had been called. They had piled the dirt back on top, replanted the deep red blooms that had specifically grown over the sight.

Kady came to stand in front of them, looking down at them for a moment before kneeling.

"I'm sorry," she said, softly. "It's done now?"

"Yeah, we managed." Tristan managed to say. Laure squeezed his arm.

Kady nodded at this.

"We'll have to make sure things are sorted out-will you be alright?"

Before Tristan could answer though, Laure firmly nodded, almost on instinct. The sight of the bodies flashed in her mind, the way that they'd been huddled, but there'd been a definite gap. And how well Aisa had fit into that gap. She recalled the stories, each of them vivid with detail from different periods, almost enough to make her believe the more outrageous parts.

Almost. But still, it was enough anyway.

"We will be. Because they're together now."


	2. DreamAfterlife (bonus)

It is complete white when she opens her eyes. A brilliant, blinding white that her eyes take a while to adjust to. But when they do, the first thing she notices is that she does not look as she was when she went to sleep that night. No, as she looks down at her hands and her clothes, she doesn't see the wrinkled skin of someone past ninety, or the practical, innocuous blue and purple pyjamas. Rather, she sees smooth, youthful hands, the sleeves of Han's jacket covering her arms and billowing around her. When she reaches up and pulls a lock of hair so she can see it, she does not see snow-white, but candyfloss pink instead. The rest of her outfit is one of many she remembers from the journey she made from her old life as Azalea to the one she's lived these past decades as Aisa. The life she lived with Lysander and Juniper.

A wave of grief hits her then, as she has been alone for the last couple of years. But then it occurs to her what this whiteness could be, and rather than give into the sudden urge to cry, she gets up, and starts to walk. At first, there is nothing but more emptiness, stretching beyond, behind and around her, but gradually, two figures come into focus. One is shirtless and tattooed all over, the other wearing a sleeveless black shirt. When they turn to her, she recognises them immediately, and picks up her speed, until she is running, and running. When she reaches them, and embraces them though, the names that she utters are not the ones they have been going by, but their old ones. Their true ones.

"Koji! Cinn!"

"Took your long enough, didn't it, Cinn?" Koji says with a laugh.

"Well, she's here now. We missed you." Cinn agrees.

Cinn steps back to look at her, then ruffling her hair in the exact way she remembers from so many other lives. She swells up with feeling, and is overcome.

"You missed me? I missed you. _Both_ of you."

"What about me?"

Mera freezes at the voice, low and soft and so, so achingly familiar. It's a voice she has heard over and over in her thoughts and her dreams and the layers upon layers of memories. But never did she expect that she would hear it outside her own head again. Neither Cinn nor Koji look surprised at this-indeed, they are both looking over elsewhere, though they both seemed pleased with themselves. Mera follows their gazes, and for a moment, her two dearest friends become part of the background around her, because all she can do is stare at the third of her dearest friends.

"Han…."

It is a half-whisper, disbelieving and hesitant. He smiles at her, in the same soft, regretful way that he had smiled as he was dying in her arms and at her hands. Scanning him up and down, she sees that he is wearing the same things as he wore that day (including the coat, which registers in her brain as _weird_, and then fades away with everything else unimportant). They are torn and scuffed in the same way, but she doesn't see the blood. Doesn't see the injuries, or her knife stuck in him. For a moment, she can only stare at him. Then, slowly, carefully, she steps over. When she is close enough, she reaches out with a trembling hand to touch the tear in his clothes.

And just like on that day, one of Han's hands covers hers, and the other comes to rest against the back of her head as he pulls her closer, and then he kisses her. And this time, she kisses him in return.

When they break apart, Han leans his forehead against hers, and smiles again, softly. All Mera can do is stare.

"Ahem, are you going to get a room or what?" she hears Koji joke.

"Do you see a room in here?" Han asks, just as jokingly, though he doesn't take his eyes off of her.

"Well, no…." Koji seems to actually seriously consider this.

"Exactly."

But all the same, Han steps back, though he doesn't let go. Mera opens her mouth to say something-and then she feels hers face crumple as she bursts into tears. Big, blubbering tears, accompanied by loud sobs.

Almost instantly, she is gathered into a hug, and then she hears footsteps and she feels Cinn and Koji join them, creating a sort of group hug as she cries, and cries and cries.

"Han," she says between sobs. "I….I did….I….don't you….."

"No," he whispers. "No, I don't. It was what I needed to happen. It was the only way I had to save you. You and the others."

"But…."

"Shhhh, it's alright. You lived, didn't you? You lived a really nice life, a long one. Cinn and Koji filled me in, while we were waiting for you. That was what I wanted, but it wasn't going to happen while I was still alive. So it's alright."

_You lived. While we were waiting. _Despite the waves of feeling crashing over her, Mera is able to put these things together, and she struggles to pull herself together. Once she does, she looks up at Han.

"I'm dead now. You all died, and now I'm here."

"Took you long enough to figure it out." Cinn comments wryly.

"But…." Mera frowns. "But, that's….I thought part of the sacrifice you made was that you'd never see us again. Not even in the afterlife. So, what is this?"

"Does it matter?" Koji asks.

Mera looks at Koji, and at Cinn, and then at Han, and blinks uncertainly. Her legs start to feel weird, and she looks down and notices that they are starting to fade away. _What? What is…..is this actually an afterlife, or is this a kind of dream? _

"Mera?"

Han's voice has her looking back up at him. She searches his face, seeing only a calm assurance in his features.

"Does it matter?" he repeats Koji's words. "We're here, and we're alright now, aren't we?"

It is only as he says these words that she realises it. Whether this is some strange final dream, or this really is the afterlife and Han's curse was proved wrong, they are together again. The pieces of her heart are reassembled. And as they fade away, still holding onto each other, still smiling, she knows for sure.

They _are_ alright now.


End file.
